Sunday, June 7, 2009

Lately...

I've been pretty wrapped up with all of this rehab stuff, doctor visits, physical therapy appointments, and scar tissue. Haven't had much else going on that I think is interesting enough to post on my blog site internet space face. It's been the most trying event in my life (this whole knee injury thing). It's not really what I thought I signed up for when I landed on that rock, but it was out of my hands the moment it happened.

My weekly routine consists of about 3 P.T. appointments and gym sessions, all of which take about 5 hours each day, except Sundays when I have the day off (not for religious reasons). Since that is what my life consists of, it's what is on my mind all day long, my knee. I feel like I have a full time job and when I slack, I pay for it in pain.

Physical Therapy has become a bit like torture. I feel like I've developed a relationship with pain beyond what I thought I could ever withstand. Pain, to me, is a good thing. It means I'm breaking up built up scar tissue. I feel bad for my amazing physical therapist who has to put me through this pain, but he is ultimately healing me. He has a tough job.

I've overcome being tough and not letting my guard down. When I feel scar tissue ripping inside my knee, I squeeze my eyes as tight as I can and form wrinkles in between them, I brace myself with my hands on the table while someone else (usually Gaffney) holds my shoulders down so I can't crawl away from my knee being bent, I start to shake and sometimes sweat, I get shivers and feel like I'm on the verge of passing out. As much as I say I can't go any more, he pushes me even farther. It's like snapping a carrot, that sound, the release. I yell, I swear, and hold the stretch for a minute or less. Ladd (my P.T. and healer) releases the stretch slowly. This part is nearly just as uncomfortable. My knee feels like it's 90 years old and doesn't want to move. I get a shooting pain inbetween my hip and my groin and then it's over...for the time being.

With watery eyes, a dizzy head, and a lot of adrenaline, I continue on with my daily workouts. Usually by the time I walk out, the pain has subsided. Ladd constantly reminds me that someday this will all be just a memory. I hold on to his words and find motivation in skiing, biking, climbing, and all of the activites that are easily taken for granted.

Injuries are difficult to deal with, but they make you stronger. You gain a lot of knowledge about the body and how to care for it, but you also learn a lot about yourself. It's tough to walk through the doors of physical therapy knowing what I'll be going through, but it's people like Riley who inspire me on a daily basis to make it happen. So here's to you Riley, thank you.